How to Talk to your Immigrant Parents
Whether you’re setting boundaries, making a life decision that does not align with their values, or simply prioritizing your mental health, it’s important to remember that what you’re asking for is valid. What will really help you to stand your ground when talking with your parents is to understand the importance of the boundary that you’re setting and the decision that you’re making. If you enter a confrontation with your parents while still doubting the legitimacy of your decision, the minute your parents start to push back, you’ll end up giving into them and regretting your decision later.
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How do I Stop Feeling Guilty?
All emotions act as signals, a “red alert” in response to external stimuli. Guilt arises when we feel we’ve violated our ethics or morals. Can you identify “guilt” as the emotion you’re feeling, and understand what it’s in response to? My clients express remorse over mistakes, hurtful actions, or inaction. Guilt also stems from failing to meet expectations—whether from parents, oneself, or others. Not all guilt is the same and may manifest differently for each person. A key part of letting go is understanding where these feelings come from and acknowledging their impact.
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How do I know if I'm trauma dumping?
You love the fact that you’re an “open book.” In other words, vulnerability is your strong suit. You know what it’s like to grow up in a family where important matters are pushed under a rug, and you were forced to pretend that everything was fine when things were not. Between then and now, you’re doing the important work of processing your feelings and even going to therapy! Now as you’re coming to terms with the trauma you’ve experienced, you want to make it a point to end that generational pattern of avoiding your hurt. Better yet, you want to be a beacon of light to others and share what you’ve gone through with others.
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